Quotations and phrases

A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
-- Larry David

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
-- Larry David

And I'd always liked improvising - whenever I've done it in the past, I felt I had a knack for it. So that was it.
-- Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
-- Larry David

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
-- Larry David

Drugs scared me.
-- Larry David

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
-- Larry David

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.
-- Larry David

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
-- Larry David

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
-- Larry David

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
-- Larry David

I just feed off the energy of the audience.
-- Larry David

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.
-- Larry David

I managed to put together an act that I could do, and enjoy, and kill with, on a Saturday night. But it still was difficult going on.
-- Larry David

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
-- Larry David

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
-- Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
-- Larry David

I'd also like to point out that my new house was nearly destroyed by the Malibu fires the day before we moved in.
-- Larry David

I'm a walking, talking enigma.
-- Larry David

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.
-- Larry David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
-- Larry David

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.
-- Larry David

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
-- Larry David

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
-- Larry David

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
-- Larry David

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
-- Larry David

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
-- Larry David

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
-- Larry David

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
-- Larry David

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
-- Larry David

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
-- Larry David

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
-- Larry David

Women love a self-confident bald man.
-- Larry David

You write about what you know.
-- Larry David

All quotations and phrases said by Larry David including famous quotes